Sheep Jokes

If you know of any others sheep people can enjoy, please let me know and I'll give you the credit... please? as you can see we're severely lacking sheep jokes. No rude ones though (maybe that's why we're so lacking....)

 

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

What is a good quality in a sheep?
A sense of ewemour

What do you call a sheep without any legs?
A Cloud

Why did the lamb call the police?
He had been fleeced

Where do sheep go to get their hair cut?
The baa baa shop.

Simple Division

When the Earl of Bradford was brought before the Lord Chancellor, to be examined upon application for a statue of Lunacy against him, the chancellor asked him, "How many legs has a sheep?" "Does your lordship mean," answered Lord Bradford, "a live sheep or a dead sheep?" "Is it not the same thing?" said the chancellor. "No, my lord," said Lord Bradford, "there is much difference; a live sheep may have four legs; a dead sheep has only two: the fore legs are shoulders; but there are but two legs of mutton."

Take The Test!

Joe wanted to be an accountant, so he went for an aptitude test.

Tester: If I give you two sheep, two sheep, and another two sheep, how many sheep have you got?

Joe: Seven!

Tester : No, listen carefully again. If I give you two sheep, two sheep, and another two sheep, how many sheep have you got?

Joe: Seven!

Tester : Let's try this another way. If I give you two bottles of beer, two bottles of beer, and another two bottles of beer, how many bottles of beer have you got?

Joe: Six.

Tester : Good! Now, if I give you two sheep, two sheep, and another two sheep, how many sheep have you got?

Joe: Seven!

Tester : How on earth do you work out that three lots of two sheep is seven?

Joe: I've already got one sheep at home!

Sheep song

This song was posted in the old sheepnet guestbook by Rikki Turner:

(To be sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)
Sheep are very sweet, They go baaaaa and bleat,
They're as white as a sheet, Sheep are very sweet!
They live in the fields, Have their daytime meals,
I knew one once called Neil, And he lived in the fields!
Chorus
Sheep are woolly, Sheep are fooly, Sheep are very dumb.
They don't know a thing at all, And they don't learn from their mum.
Baaaaaaah!
(Repeat Chorus)

 

 

For funny facts, see here

 

 
 

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